Race #2: April 3 - Bloomington, IN

When making Easter plans, I felt a little conflicted. On one hand, I wanted to spend Easter Sunday with my husband since it was our first Easter as a married couple. On the other hand, I wanted to see my grandparents in Cincinnati and spend Easter with them. Since my husband was too busy with school to drive to Cincinnati, I decided to drive to my grandparents’ Thursday evening, and spend Friday with them. From their house, I would have to drive three hours to Bloomington on Saturday morning to run the IU mini marathon. Then, after the race, I would drive four hours home to St Louis and spend the rest of the weekend with my husband.

I spent Thursday morning and afternoon cleaning and packing. I had to make sure I had running clothes for every type of weather since the reports for Bloomington called for a warm, sunny morning with a cold rain coming through late morning on Saturday. I went through my suitcase twice to make sure I packed everything. Shoes? Yes. Singlet? Yes. Shorts? Yes. Powersox? Yes. Bandaids? Yes.

After straightening up the house, packing my car, and leaving a note for my husband, I left St. Louis and headed for Cincinnati. It was dark and late when I arrived, so I really didn’t spend much time with my grandparents that day. But I spent most of Friday with them, and ate dinner with them at my Aunt’s restaurant. Grandma told me I had to order a complete dinner and eat it. But everything on the menu is artery-clogging, deep-fat-fried, good ol’ country cooking. I hesitantly ordered and ate chicken strips, fries, and macaroni and cheese. I was really nervous about eating something so heavy the night before a race. I didn’t want to spend the next morning in the race port-o-lets. Gross. But I always do what my Grandma says. We all do. For a woman who isn’t even 5 feet tall, she’s definitely intimidating!

After dinner, I got ready for bed. I was in bed by 7:00 p.m., which surprised my Grandma. With her Japanese-coated English, she asked, “Whaa? You go to sleep now? What time you leave?” When I told her I had to leave by 3:30 a.m. to pick up my registration packet and bib, she laughed. “You like airplane. You just touchdown and takeoff.” This made me feel a little guilty about going to bed, but I knew I needed the rest.

At 3:30 a.m at my grandparents' house

At 3:15 a.m., my cell phone alarm buzzed. I stumbled to the bathroom and completed my pre-race routine. I stuck bandaids to and rubbed Bodyglide on areas prone to chaffing. I dressed, ate a bowl of cheerios, and snuck out of my grandparents’ house—trying my best not to wake them. Then I drove, and drove, and drove to Bloomington. Until 6:00 a.m., I seemed to be the only person up and driving the curvy hills through Indiana.

I made it to the campus of IU by 6:55 a.m.—more than enough time to check-in, get my bib number and timing chip, and eat a small snack. I ate two granola bars, drank some Gatorade, and walked around the indoor track to kill time. At about 7:50 a.m., everyone headed towards the start line, and I followed the crowd. About 760 runners lined up behind the start and waited silently until the announcer yelled “Go!” into the megaphone. And we took off. It was warm and sunny—I was feeling good.

I was going faster than I had planned. I just couldn’t get my pace right until about mile 5. By then, I didn’t need to try to slow down—it happened naturally when the ice-cold rain came in and hovered over the race. Drenched and shivering, I tried to speed up, but couldn’t. I was frozen, and my movement reflected this. With each step, my legs felt like heavy ice that I struggled to move—especially up the numerous hills on the course. But somehow, I made it to the finish line. And when I finished, I felt like I had energy to spare. I finished in 2:06:48—faster than my Bowling Green time. As unlikely as it felt, I ended up with a new PLPR!

Warm and mostly dry after changing in my car

After the race, I grabbed two granola bars, a bottle of water, an everything bagel with cream cheese, and a banana from the refueling tent. I wanted to make sure I ate enough—I didn’t want to end up with a headache as I drove. I carried this grub back to my car, where I changed into dry clothes. I was so uncomfortably cold and wet, that I gave up on modesty. Drier and warmer, I headed back to St. Louis to spend the rest of Easter weekend with my wonderful husband!

Wet clothes, wet gear, my bib, and my medal

Race #1: March 27 - Bowling Green, KY

Sporting my "Cure Lupus" singlet post-race

When I first registered for the Total Fitness Connection’s Mini Marathon in Bowling Green, I asked my husband to drive to Kentucky with me so I could show him my alma mater (Go Hilltoppers!). I thought we would drive down on Friday, March 26, spend the night at our friends’ place, and drive back to St. Louis late Saturday or early Sunday. But a couple of weeks ago, one of my husband’s friends invited him, along with a bunch of other guys, to his family farm for a “man trip”—complete with firearms—on March 26. He told me he didn’t have to go—that he would come to Kentucky instead. But I could see how much he really wanted to go to the farm. Therefore, we compromised.

My husband went to the farm on Friday for several hours, and returned home by midnight. I went to bed very early (thank you, Benedryl), and woke up at 1:30 a.m. We packed the car, and were on the road by 2:00 a.m. I drove since I was wide awake with nervous anticipation and a little bit of fear about the race. My husband claimed to be awake and offered to drive, but within 10 minutes of leaving the city, he was snoring loudly in the passenger seat. The roads were pitch black, and the stars were hiding behind trees and clouds. I listened to an audiobook to keep my mind off of the quickly approaching race, and drove the 290 miles to Bowling Green.

We arrived in Bowling Green a few minutes ahead of schedule, and I had plenty of time to pick up my bib number and race packet. My husband and I relaxed in the car, eating the Kashi bars that I had packed. I coated my body with sunscreen, debated whether or not to change into my running tights (I ultimately decided to wear shorts), and filled my fuel belt. My husband and I then started towards the start line, stopping first to wait 15 minutes in line for the port-o-let. At the start line, I turned on my iPod and focused on the audiobook until we started.

My bib number

I didn’t have a set pace goal for the race. Truthfully, I doubted whether I could even finish the whole race without walking a large portion of it. So, I just set my watch and ran. I didn’t pay attention to my time until I passed the three mile marker. At that water stop, I glanced down at my watch. 28:54. I did a double-take. I was running at a sub-10 pace. When I was younger, I would have been horrified at the thought of running so slow. Being older, weaker, and sicker than I was then, I was thrilled at the idea of running a sub-10 pace in a half marathon. Part of me was worried that I had gone out too fast and was going to really hit the wall. But I hushed that negative, worrisome voice and continued running.

When I called my husband at mile 12 to have him meet me at the finish line, he was shocked. “You’re doing great, sweetie! Much faster than you thought.”

I had to agree with him. I was doing great. I hadn’t hit the wall. I was happily chatting with another runner. I was feeling great and having a wonderful time.

Chatting with another runner--she was an awesome motivator!

When I reached mile 13, my husband was there to greet me—snapping photos as I ran by. I crossed the finish line at 2:10:39. It was barely a sub-10 time, but I was still proud. It was a PLPR (post-lupus personal record). And I only walked through the water stops (I have never mastered drinking while running). I just kept running!

The finish line!

Back of the singlet

April 4: Update

I haven’t updated this in quite a long time. This isn’t because I was being lazy, or forgot about this blog. Honestly, I felt like it was becoming too negative. I know my purpose when I started documenting my struggle with lupus was to be blatantly honest about how I was doing and feeling. But when I was flaring up, my posts all sounded like complaints. So I decided to take a brief break—I decided to resume updating this blog when I successfully completed at least one half-marathon while wearing my “Cure Lupus” shirt. I have successfully completed two half-marathons in the past nine days! Yay!

But let me backtrack a little. In February, I was exhausted and in a lot of pain. My joints felt heavy and stiff—like they were filled with cement. It hurt to move. It hurt to lay still. It hurt to leave my warm mattress pad and covers. Most of all, it hurt to go out into the cold. I became a bit reclusive, resting on our bed whenever I had the chance. Because of my uncomfortable joints, running and cooking—things I truly love—were no longer enjoyable. They turned into chores. I still ran, but I did not keep the running schedule that I had planned. I put in less miles per week than I wanted, and my longest run was only ten miles.

Towards the end of February, I flew to Texas to see my rheumatologist (whom I absolutely adore). After reviewing my labs, inspecting my joints, and performing a thorough physical exam, he decided to prescribe a different medication. He prescribed Imuran, a somewhat harsh immunosuppressant. He told me that I should notice a difference within 60 days.

Just having a different medication filled me with hope. Having lupus can be emotionally exhausting. I feel like I’m missing out on so much—like I’m sleeping my life away. So having a new-to-me medication—one that could possibly end this flare-up—is exciting. I’ve been on the Imuran a little over a month, and I can honestly say that I feel much better than I did in February. I’m still not back to normal. I still feel exhausted and my joints don’t always want to cooperate, but I am getting better. I do not have the energy to do all that I want to in a day. But if I plan my day right, I have enough energy to get some chores and work done and still go for a run. I know that having the energy to go for a run might not seem that important to some people, but it’s so important to me. I’m filled with hope and optimism on days that I run, but days that I physically can’t run seem so dark and bleak. Running makes me feel human—makes me feel normal. When I run by other people in the park, I feel like I’m just as strong and just as healthy as they are.

Sunday, Jan 24

On Sunday, I was feeling a bit more mobile and did not yet realize that I had the flu. And after feeling trapped for three days, I decided that I was going to get in my 7 mile run. I know this was not a smart idea, but I needed to move. I’m happiest when I’m out moving—walking, running, dancing—I don’t care, as long as I’m moving. I get so tired of being in too much pain to move!

My husband decided to join me on this run, and, at first, it the run went pretty well. Up until mile 4, we were averaging 9 min/miles. But a little after mile 4, the pain hit. My joints stiffened with incredible speed. I felt my knees stiffen, then buckle under me. I winced with pain and caught my balance before I face-planted on the path. I was really glad my husband had just passed me and missed my painful moment. But after that, I couldn’t run with any speed. We ended up completing only 6 miles in total—spending the last two miles walking and jogging. We completed our last two miles at a 16 min/mile pace—we were very, very slow. I felt really bad for my husband since he stayed and finished with me even though I slowed him down. I’m very lucky to have someone so supportive!

Monday, Jan 18 – Saturday, Jan 23

Last week was horrible. I’m not complaining--just stating the truth. It was, in fact, horrible. I only got in one good run, and battled the flu for the rest of the week (and the beginning of the next week).

Monday: After the 5k, I had Monday scheduled as a rest day. Even though I did not run the 5k, but walked it, I decided to follow my schedule and rest. My body felt a bit off, and I thought I could use the rest.

Tuesday: I misread my schedule. Although I only had a 4 mile run, I thought I had a 5 mile run. Since my dear husband was busy with school work, I bundled up, put on my reflective gear, and hit the road. I felt sluggish and achy, but still managed to complete the 5 miles with a 10 min/mile pace. Not too bad. After the run, I lifted weights to make up for resting on Monday. I went to bed early—exhausted from my exercises.

Wednesday: We hired a new employee at work, so I got up early to head to be at the office by 8:30 a.m. I was supposed to train the new girl, but our internet was down. Then, our legal software, TimeMatters, shut down. We spent half the day getting the internet back up and running. After that, I spent 2-1/2 hours on the phone with tech support for TimeMatters. I was already feeling physically exhausted, but such an unproductive day left me feeling emotionally exhausted as well. I was so tired when I got home that I just climbed into bed and did not leave the warm covers if I didn’t have to. Needless to say, my 3.5 mile run did not happen.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday: When I woke up Thursday, I could not move. I was immobilized by the pain in my joints. As humiliating as it was, I had to have my husband help me to the toilet. I just couldn’t get there on my own. My husband came home early from school to keep an eye on me, bringing me medicine and water. He turned the heated mattress pad on our bed up so the heat would help my aching joints, but nothing helped. I was a prisoner in my own body. I ended up missing work both Thursday and Friday. I stayed in bed all day Saturday as well.

But even though I was in considerable pain, I still felt lucky. My wonderful husband took such good care of me. He sat and watched tv shows on hulu.com with me. He lay next to me and held me as I cried. He brought me Papa John’s breadsticks in bed. What more could a girl ask for?!

Tuesday, Jan 12: 4 mile run

Goal: 4 mile run
Actual: 4.57 mile run

Because of my lupus, I try not to avoid direct sunlight as much as possible. (The UV waves in sunlight can cause lupus to flare, triggering inflammation and the development of the every-so-lovely facial rashes.) Lately, I’ve just been running at night, or slathering on the sunscreen and running when it’s freezing cold and overcast. But Tuesday was a bright, sunny day. And the only free time I had on Tuesday was at 10:00 a.m. So I layered on the sunscreens, donned a hat and protective sunglasses, and went running in bright sunlight for the first time in a long while. It was so beautiful. I really miss running in broad daylight. Everything just glistens under the radiant glow of the sun. Things just look and feel happier. I felt happier.

Sunday, Jan 10: 6 mile run

Goal = 6 mile run
Actual = no run; 120 minutes of free step

I didn't run on Sunday. I was so worn out from our trip, and I didn't want to weaken my body further by running in the freezing cold temperatures. But I didn't want to just laze the day away. So I did two hours of free stepping on the wii fit. It wasn’t as good as a long run, but I was already tired and hurting, so I didn’t want to chance it by running.

Friday, Jan 1: Rest day

Happy New Year’s Day!

Today was a rest day, and rest is exactly what I’ve done. Even though I only had two sips of Champagne last night, I barely made it past midnight. I went to bed at about 12:10 a.m., and fell right to sleep. I did not wake up from my much needed rest until 12:00 p.m., when my husband woke me up because we were supposed to go on a New Year’s Day hike. But I was too tired to go, so we canceled. Then, I stayed in bed for another two hours before getting up to run some errands. Luckily, my husband was driving because I managed to fall asleep in the car. When we got home at 5:30, I was so tired that I had to take a nap. I didn’t wake up until 9:00 p.m. And even as I type this, I still haven’t made it out from under the covers. I’m just too physically exhausted to move too much.

I have a lot of chores to do before we fly home tomorrow, and I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who has picked up my slack. He even cooked dinner for me, and is currently cleaning the kitchen. I’m happy that he’s so willing to help out. But I’m feeling both guilty and frustrated—guilty because I don’t feel like I’m pulling my weight today; frustrated because I want more energy. I hope I can round up some more energy for and during our trip! I want to spend as much time as possible with our families—not sleeping the time away!

Tuesday, Dec 29: 3 mile run

I was bad on Tuesday. I did not run three miles—or any mileage—Tuesday. I worked late even though I was still feeling sick and tired. Then, my husband and I went to a Dine Out on a Dime dinner at Mai Lee’s, which was filling and fabulous. By the time we go home, if was very dark and cold, and I was full of coconut and lemongrass curry.

After my wonderful meal was somewhat digested, I tried to make up for my laziness by doing an hour of free stepping on the wii Fit. I know it doesn’t help me improve my endurance the way running does, but at least I did something somewhat active.

Lupus: sores and shirts

I’ve been really stressed lately, which is not good for my lupus. And with the cold weather, I’ve been getting more sores on my face—mostly in, under, and around my nose and mouth. I’m a little embarrassed about how I look in the photos, but I wanted to honestly share my full experience while training for these races. Therefore, I’m posting these photos. The first one shows the sores that are currently under my nose and around my mouth. The second one is from a year and a half ago—I just stumbled upon it and was shocked at the sore under my right nostril. I look like I’ve been punched in the nose!



On a more positive note, Steven bought me a singlet for Christmas. I’ve used freezer paper and paint to make it my “running for a cure” shirt. Because of the thin, wicking fabric of the singlet, the paint bled a little. But I still like it. And if anyone is close enough to notice the bleeding, then they are standing way too close :-)


Before:



Front:



Back:

Thursday, Dec 17: 3 mile run

I was supposed to do some strength training today, but did not do so because we were very busy. But I did get to do my three mile run. And, much to my surprise, Steven decided to run with me. He hasn’t been taking very good care of himself lately—he was stressed about finals and ICE week—so it did not surprise me that he needed to walk more often than I did. Even so, I was still so excited to have him by my side. It had been so long since we’d had time to do something together where it was just the two of us—so I loved it! But it’s funny to see how different we are when we run.

Running makes me happy. It makes me feel like I am conquering something—like I’m strong, lean, and powerful. Also, it gives me a chance to enjoy the sights around me. So I often smile and laugh when I run. The longer I am able to run, the more I smile. Steven, on the other hand, seems to get more serious as he run. You can tell when he’s frustrated with his speed—the disappointment furrows itself in his brow. He looks so serious and stern with his lips pressed hard together and fists clenched tight and he struggles to keep his pace. It amuses me because the amount of pride I feel for him when he runs with me far outweighs the amount of disappointment he feels. I love how he doesn’t want to hinder my workout. I love how he fights to keep going, even when his legs feel like lead. I’m just amazed by his discipline and will, and wish he were just as amazed and proud of himself as I am.

It was a lovely 3.22 mile run, and we ran it in a less than 31 minutes—we barely ran a sub 10 minute mile. But we did it! And it was amazing. And I didn’t need to stop and walk—I just did so to support Steven. I could have gone a bit longer and a bit faster, but I think that was because I felt fueled by his support. I think that without Steven there to share this run with me, I would have struggled.*


*I am posting this a bit late because I didn’t have time to type my handwritten notes on Thursday.

Tuesday: 3 mile run in the cold

I worked all day, so I had to run when I got home from work. By the time I got home, let Lady out, and mapped my 3 mile route, it was dark and 23 degrees outside. Twenty-three degrees! I don’t think I have ever run outside in such cold! So, before I left for my run, I dressed even more warmly than I had on Sunday. I wore an extra pair of pants over my running tights, an extra jacket over my fleece jacket, and a pair of hiking socks over my powersox running socks. Even so, I was freezing. Even with two pairs of gloves on, my fingers were so cold that I could feel the tightness overtaking my joints. Every step was painful. But my time tonight was better than Sunday’s time. For my 3.22 mile run, I averaged 11:31 minute miles. This would be an incredibly slow pace for someone whose joints don’t seize up in the cold, but I’m proud that I was faster tonight despite the lower outside temperatures. Tonight, I’m feeling optimistic—lupus can’t stand in the way of my goals!

I didn’t realize this until after I completed my run, but despite the pain, I never once considered quitting. I think this is partly because I was pumped about receiving my volunteer packet from the local chapter of the Lupus Foundation of America! I’ve signed up to be an advocate and a speaker, and I’m very excited about this.

Monday: Strength training and stretching

My long runs are generally on Sundays, because that is usually the day that races occur. Granted, right now my Sunday runs aren’t exactly “long.” Even so, my training schedule during the week is fairly light. My schedule for this week isn’t too strenuous:

Monday: Strength training and stretching/yoga

Tuesday: 3 mile easy run

Wednesday: 2 mile run with hills

Thursday: 3 mile easy run and strength training

Friday: Rest!

Saturday: 30 minutes of cross-training

Sunday: 4 mile run

I haven’t worked out with weights in a while, so today’s strength-training has been a little hit-or-miss. I’m trying a large number of exercises to see which ones hurt my joints the most. The ones that work my muscles well without putting too much pressure on my already stiff and sore joints will be the ones that I work on. After it gets warmer this spring, I will retry some of the exercises that hurt my joints to see if there is any improvement.

As far as strength-training is concerned, I’ve really let myself go. Just a few months ago, I was much stronger than I am now. But now that I do not work at a gym, I don’t have access to the weights that I did back in Dallas and I’ve slacked off a lot. Getting strong again will take a lot of effort, but will be worth it. I only own 8 lb, 5 lb, and 3 lb weights, which are perfect right now. But soon I might have an excuse to go buy a new set of heavier weights :-)

Today’s workout:

Upper body: Not necessarily in this order
Tricep dips – 3 sets of 12 reps
French press - 10 lb – 3 sets of 15 reps
Tricep kick-back – 5 lbs – 3 sets of 15 reps
Tricep lifts – 8 lbs – 3 sets of 15 reps
Preacher’s curls – 8 lbs each – 3 sets by 15 reps
Concentrated Curls – 8 lbs each – 3 sets by 15 reps
Crazy 8s – 10 lbs total – 2 sets of 36
Shoulder presses – 5 lbs each – 3 sets 15 reps
Referees – 3 lbs – 3 sets 15 reps
Lateral raises – 3 lbs – 3 sets 15 reps
Front raises – 3 lbs – 3 sets 15 reps
Chest presses – 16 lbs – 3 sets 15 reps
Chest flyes – 10 lbs – 3 sets 15 reps
Bench presses – 16 lbs – 3 sets 15 reps
Girly Push-ups - 20 (I'm so weak!)
One arm rows – 8 lbs – 3 sets of 15 reps
Resistance band rows – blue band – 3 sets of 15 reps

Lower body:
Calf raises – 3 sets of 25 reps
Wall sits – 1 minute holds, 3 times
Plie squats – 3 sets of 25 reps
Leg curls – 14 lbs – 3 sets of 15 reps
Hip adduction – 3 sets of 25 reps
Hip abduction – 3 sets of 25 reps
Genie sits – 2 sets of 12 reps (these put a lot of pressure on my knees and really started to hurt)

Core: A mix of supermans, bird-dogs, crunches, bicycles, planks, bridges, and sit-ups

Stretching/yoga: 30 minutes

December 13: 4 mile run

In my cold-weater gear, minus my hat and gloves.

I was absent from work on both Thursday and Friday because I’ve been sick. I was running a fever and lost my voice. Therefore, it was probably not my smartest idea to go running today. But I sometimes feel out of control with my lupus, and I needed to show my body that I am, in fact, in control. Sometimes a little bit of a mind-over-matter attitude is important.

Even so, I found it really difficult to get motivated. The cold weather disagrees with my lupus, and makes my joints ache. And the warm electric mattress pad kept beckoning me to come back to bed and rest my stiff joints. I managed to crawl out from under my toasty covers, and change into running gear.

It’s kind of amusing that getting ready for a cold-weather run takes 5 times as long as gearing up for a warm-weather run. By the time I was ready to leave the house, I was wearing my running tights and four different tops. All of my exposed skin had a thick and greasy layer of Aquaphor to prevent chapping. I know I look a bit ridiculous when I run in the cold, but I want to keep my joints as warm as possible, and I don’t want any of those lovely lupus-induced facial ulcers that I tend to get. So, a little preventative maintenance goes a long way.

To warm my body up a bit, I ran very small laps around the basement for four minutes before heading outside to brave the elements. At 42 degrees, it was very cold to this former Texan. And, as I said earlier, the colder I am, the more pain I’m in. Therefore, I ran very slowly—so frustratingly and painfully slow! I used Jeff Galloway’s 4:1 split method (four minutes running then one minute walking), which is what he recommends for a 9 minute mile pace. Well, the 4:1 did not give my cold and slow body a 9 minute mile—it was more like a 14 minute mile. When my mother goes walking, she has a faster pace than I did today. Before I got sick and started hurting so much, I was a lot faster. Days like today can be a bit discouraging. I have to remind myself to look at the glass as half-full. I have to remind myself that I was only scheduled for a 4 mile workout, but I went 4.29 miles! And, as my rheumatologist told me, sticking with my running plans will help me feel better physically and psychologically!