Wednesday, Jan 13: 2 mile run

Goal: 2 mile run
Actual: 2.25 mile run

Sometimes I get a little scared running by myself when my husband is out of town. (He was in California for a few days.) I end up carrying mace on one hip, pepper spray on the other hip. I carry my cell phone in case something happens and I need to call 911. I also wear reflective gear and a flashing light. I probably go a little overboard with the safety, but I can get a little panicked when I run by myself at night.

Wednesday was one of those panicky nights. It took a lot of mental coaxing for me to convince myself that I was just going for a two mile run and would be just fine. But I finally stepped foot outside, and got into my rhythm—my very, very slow rhythm.

Since I was a little paranoid, I did not turn on my iPod. (You can’t hear attackers as well when you’re blasting tunes in your ears!) Instead, I ran with my thoughts. I reflected on how I was feeling (in pain) and how I wanted to feel (strong again). I came to the decision that I’m going to try to keep the most positive attitude that I can—even on days when the pain is almost unbearable. In a few years, I’m going to look back and see lupus as nothing more than a minor setback that I overcame.